Even as I sit here and reflect on what it is that I want to write about in relation to being 30 vs 20, it is hard for me to grasp that I am actually 30. To be clear – I am 30 + 2.
Don’t get me wrong; this is not a “I cannot believe I am 30, I feel old, wah, wah, wah” post. Quite the contrary. This is me admitting that I am that salmon swimming upstream. I am the 32-year-old who has never felt better. I am so proud of how far that I have come and where my life is headed and I know that the confidence I have gained in my 30’s is a major contribution to that.
No matter what age, life is tough, but I have learned that it is all in how you deal with it that makes life manageable or not.
In maturing and gaining the confidence that I have today, I have learned to appreciate who I am, what I stand for, and what makes me uniquely different. I have learned the value in owning who you are; I no longer make excuses for who I am. I no longer hide my personality or my convictions. I know what I like, I know what I don’t like, and I have no qualms with expressing either one. I have come to terms with the fact that not all friendships can withstand life’s big milestones whether because of time, interest, or insecurities. Similarly, I have learned that friendship is all about quality vs quantity and that those few selected tribe members can be whom you least expected to have by your side. I have formed a strong sense of my style and have the confidence to disregard what others might think about it; I dress for me and me alone.
My 30’s have brought me more confidence than I could have ever imagined I’d possess. I am realizing that I am so much more than I have ever given myself credit for. I am a wife, I am a mom, I am a career-woman, I am a hard-worker in all things I work on, I am strong and independent, I am a lover of fashion, I am a lover of design and decor, I am outspoken and opinionated and I speak with conviction no matter the topic. Now I do all of these things and I am this person unapologetically and without any concern of displeasing those around me or fitting into this cookie-cutter mold that surrounds me. I live in an area that has a very strong stereotype for moms, especially stay-at-home moms. Since enrolling Poppy in preschool 3 years ago I just never felt like I fit in. I felt like I was so far from the “norm” that seemingly surrounded me and made up the bulk of the moms in the classroom that I’d just never make true “mom friends”. To be perfectly honest, it felt like I was in middle school all over again. It was brutal. All of a sudden I looked around me one day and just said screw it; I may not fit in their group but I am OK with that – you either like me, or you don’t.
I spent far too many years in my 20’s hating how I looked, trying to fit into this idea that to be stylish you must be trendy and to be trendy you must wear whatever you’re told is hot right now, fighting for friendships that weren’t worth fighting for, and trying to find my identity as a young married working-mom.My 20’s had so many highs and so many low. Both the highs and lows helped to form this foundation to lift me up and show me that sticking to whatever my heart and my mind tell me to will forever be the best look on me.
I love how far that I have come and how far that I can go with the confidence I hold.
It has taken me 32 years to realize that my possibilities are endless.
I plan to move forward in my 30’s taking every day for the adventure it is